Man Kills Neighbor's Owl

A Topham man has been arraigned in court for allegedly killing his neighbor's pet owl with a baseball bat after confusing it for a lawn ornament he long-despised.

A row developed between the two men when Darryl Lesane complained to his neighbor, Cody Hitchens, about a loud and annoying laugh originating from Hitchens' yard during barbecues and parties.

It's unclear whether Mr Hitchens was the person behind the annoying laugh but Lesane's attorney told the court Lesane had been putting up with what he described as a "hyena-like" laugh for years, causing him to close his windows and not enjoy the outdoors.

He claimed his client didn't intend to kill the owl because he didn't realize the own was real. The court was told Mr. Hitchens' lawn is adorned with dozens of owl figurines, owl statues and owl gnomes. It is alleged that Mr. Lesane was unaware Mr. Hitchens actually owned a real owl as well.

"You'd think the accused would have heard the owl on occasion," the judge postulated. But Mr. Lesane told the judge it would have been impossible to hear anything over the annoying laugh of his neighbour, including an owl." He compared it to fingernails on a chalk board then attempted to tell a colourful joke in an apparent desperate attempt to make Mr. Hitchens laugh. However, the joke involving a kangaroo walking into a bar, was botched in its telling when he let slip the punchline early ("Not at these prices.")

Mr. Hitchens returned to court on Wednesday and was released with a thousand dollar fine on the condition that he take a racial sensitivity course as anger and violence courses were not available until the spring.