I'm Tired of Seeing Things I Shouldn't

The Today Show ran a piece the other day about "slutwear." Teen girls today, influenced by readily-available pornography on the Internet are embracing the look of a stripper. Their clothes leave little to the imagination and I'm seeing things I shouldn't.

Did it ever occur to you, teen girl, that your buttocks are  gross? Poop comes out of there. Your behind is your business, not mine. I don't want to see your thong-producing (forgive me) crack.

I guess the boys really know what they're "getting into" before they get into it. Why not leave something to the imagination? A good stripper doesn't come onto the stage dressed in a string bikini, she has to have something to take off, after all. I should know, I stripped my way through culinary school.

Never mind that I hate you for your young, unwrinkled bodies. Pretty soon you'll be showing up at school naked and waxed. I hope you stick to your seats and can't leave for lunch.

And what then, when there's absolutely nothing left for our imaginations? Will you strap pictures of your internal organs on your bodies? Maybe an MRI?

Cover up and have some dignity. Have something to take off when you decide to share your goodies with the high school football team.